On Kindness

I think kindness is wonderful. However, I’m scared. I really am. Not of kindness, but of people taking advantage of me. However, today, after speaking with my immediate supervisor, I realized it’s really what you make of it. My supervisor is very  likeable– i can’t imagine anyone not liking her. She’s warmly friendly. My good friend, E* is also one of those characters. She might not strike you as immediately, “wow, this person is awesome. I want to become bff immediately.” However, she’s one of those people who I’m like, I’m so glad I get to hang out with her. And laugh. Real laughs. Like I’m having fun. Oh man. Sometimes, I’m afraid that I’m super anti-social and I’m paranoid and don’t want to disclose information because I’m afraid that people will rob me of my information or that they only want to be friends with me because of information. Hmm…maybe I can avoid talking about information. How’s that? But anyways, the premise of this paragraph and volunteering today made me recognize the importance of friendship. It sounds super cheesy, but I’d say, it’s better to help others (even if roughly rather than specific), rather than be super paranoid. Because people who are likeable like my supervisor, you end up wanting to be nice to them too. People at the hospital are nicer than expected.  I think I know why my brother has trouble with me– it’s because I chased (and maybe still am chasing) status for many many years. It’s in my bones, because, below those bones of status seeking is fear. So why not replace it with love? Because God roots out all fear. And replaces it with love. Unconditional love. Funny how God,  I’ve neglected studying my Bible study for a couple of days and now– He calls me back. and I think about the love, hard work he surrounds me through the people I see, the conversations about religion. Say A*, B* and K* (mostly A* right now). Maybe E*? I guess I’m also afraid I can’t explain things correctly… prayer time!

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About ivtravels

I like questions, dreaming, doing things, and trying new experiences. Ask me.
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