I know one reason why I do not succeed, but end a hard-worker by word, not by action, and someone who doesn’t have lots of fun: 1) I am narcissitic and think I am AWESOME (hard worker, intelligent, can be suave and funny, and spend little time studying). Today, I spoke with a former colleague and she told me another colleague was going back to their home state (presumably for grad school). I’m awakened once more by the fact that people more attractive than me are smarter, more hard-working, and have more fun than me. Therefore, I’m done with the “I am so funny” “I am so cool” “I am so intelligent facade”. I need to grow up. I’ve stuck with this mental habit for over 10 years now– I need to constantly pampered, told, “wow, good job!” and “wow, you are beautiful” and “wow you are smart. Let me learn from you.” In other words, I think I AM GOD. Grow up and do something. (Reference to title: you are no longer 5 when you play piano terribly and your parents still say “Wow! You are the next Mozart.”)
Where I see the problems: I seek friends who implicitly think I’m better than them. I end up slacking off and showing off either directly or indirectly. I have problems adjusting to people who are better than me. I end up copycatting people who are better than me. I strive to assert myself in relationships where I can indirectly/directly influence/nag/manipulate others. I’m really disgusting.