Yesterday and today was another trial run situation where I could be assertive/passive aggressive etc. Sigh.
At the end of the day, I’m going to express my opinions more strongly so I don’t get into this passive aggressive cycle. Second, I’m thinking of Nick from The Great Gatsby: “In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. ‘Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,” he told me, ‘just remember that all the people in the world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.'”
Yesterday was a great run at watching people intersect. One day, I’m going to be a prominent doctor who will be intelligent, well-spoken, and a compassionate. People from my alma mater are sometimes so pretentious yet define themselves to be liberal. Yes, let’s protect a certain demographic group, but no, “those people are idiots because they can’t spell or they’re stupid when drunk because they’re inbred”. I have to be careful what happens to myself because my surroundings and happiness are cousins. Yes, I think it’s important to be smart and intelligent, but it’s unnecessary to snub it into the faces of others. Yes, we’re a dynamic and social community, so we need to interact with others, but why. Why can’t we just let everyone and let ourselves be happy with the way things are? I want to become a doctor, less because of the prestige and even less especially when I think about the people I’ll be studying/competing with.
I also decided yesterday that people will always upset me, but they also have the power to make happiness in the world. In the end of the day, it’s really your immediate family (namely parents) that will always be there to a certain extent. And so, I’m going to have 5 children and be a doctor. Time to start reading and writing and thinking about my drafts.