I noticed i am little irked at someone who seemingly forgot that i taught this person lessons, uses the new found insight to attack me, and on top of that is slightly hypocritical. Sigh. :p
It’s good to be extremely angry/emotion xyz because then that confirms some aspect of your identity. it also makes me realize what part of identity that person might have attacked. And I think I have an idea. I realize I can’t be everything I want to be (#grownupproblems#) and so I try to do that vicariously by trying to save others. Then I get upset when they don’t acknowledge what i’ve done for them or start saying the things that i used to say AND then aren’t even grateful and get upset with other things. I also think that because i can’t save myself in a sense, i try to save others, and think that i’ll save myself by saving others. Doesn’t work that way. Never has and never will. has only made me super upset.
However, there is a resolution to all of this and that is— taking the initiative to do things, making decisions, and taking responsibility. Want to do well? Read those books? Want to speak intelligently? Think hard and expose yourself to intelligent things. Another side note, I think I’m attracted to the very thing I want to be. That is dangerous. Because that makes me not do the things I should be doing and instead idolizing it… So, want to be really good at XYZ? Don’t idolize the person who is good at XYZ, put in the effort to become the person who is good at XYZ.