A couple of days ago I was sad because I didn’t perform optimally at a cafe. Today, I watched Dr. Dan Kahnemann distinguish between the remembering self and the experiencing self. The synthesis of my experience, reflection, and research have pushed me forward.
When I try to rationally approach that cafe example, I realize that my experiencing actually had a lot of fun, but maybe not in the last 25%. Therefore, my remembering self chooses to remember the end rather than the majority (which is the other 75%). Overall, the experience was positive. (I passed!)
I was at the time, disappointed with my performance, but now, I am content with the way I did. First, I was nervous at the end, but if I am honest with myself that performance an accurate snapshot of me. Therefore, if given an honest reflection of who I am, if the other person doesn’t like it, that is too bad. I cannot give up my identity for something else. Second, the instance motivated to be more gregarious and positive in general. Thus, it wasn’t a failure from a long term perspective.