The other day, I had a conversation with someone about something fruffy. The other party suggested it wasn’t a big deal, or sth along the lines of “I don’t understand what the big deal is. If people stopped making it a big deal, it wouldn’t be such a big deal”.
At the time, i was upset, but only displayed my displeasure with silence. Even days later, i was upset about this remark. But when I think about it now, maybe it was a good remark. I’m not sure I agree with the remark, but I have to admit, it provided new perspective for me. Too often, I get upset when other people don’t share the exact same opinions, or the same ideas, while I like to claim I’m all liberal etc. Frankly speaking, the last time I checked, liberal meant, “Open to new behavior or opinions and willing to discard traditional value” (Source: google.com search). My actions clearly suggest the opposite.
I guess in order to stay grounded, I can’t be in a comfortable place and cherry pick for people and things that bode well with my system of beliefs, actions, and hobbies. It’s good to cook and to eat and to visit museums, listen to concerts, and talk great things about literature. But at the same time, it’s easy to get all stuffy and pretentious while doing that too. It’s good to get out, have fun, try new things, and not be so darned serious all the time. Above all, there’s really nothing to pretentious-ness. I readily give in to it, but seriously, there’s no joy in it. Sure, I get to feel superior or feel like I’m better, but it’s really nothing more than just either a) I’m going to be pretentious so other people can look up (hate my guts, but have to be nice or sth), b) feel that pretentiousness will somehow make me happy.
I wouldn’t say joy is the ultimate goal, but I think, I should be joyful in the things I do do. And in that light, I should stop being judgmental and be exploratory. (thus the diversity)