New Year. New post. New beginnings.
This past year has been great thanks mostly to God. Reading previous posts makes me realize how I complicate simple things. I’m not going to count, but I based on my availability heuristic, I’m guessing that a lot of my posts deal with angsty things, epiphanies, and letters to myself to 1) go to bed earlier, 2) focus, 3) stop wasting time, 4) stressing over relationships. Overall, it’s been a cry for self-improvement. My goals were good, but they were overall vague.
Rereading and diagramming C.S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters and reading lastpsychiatrist’s blog has awakened me to the idea that virtuous habits centered in the will (heart) leads to real change.
Additionally, God is beautiful in believing in rebirth. In other words, “every saint has a past, every sinner has a future”. It’s amazing when I read accounts of Paul vs. the Pharisees. The Pharisees were “better” than David or Paul earlier in their lives, but Jesus changed that.
#Reflecting back on this year, and even looking at a moment within 24 hours, I’ve realized that for me, looking into the past can be debilitating. I need air. I need to start anew. And once I started checking my past and diving in, I didn’t look at from a neutral observer, but someone with emotional connections to it. (sub note to self: perhaps I have my answer after all. There was a situation in which I didn’t know what to do. However, now I know. I have to give space so the emotional connections disappear and then I can make an objective evaluation.) Which brings me to 2013 New Year’s Resolutions.
This was difficult, but I just deleted like 300 words. My New Year’s Res: sprezzatura.
in other words, i’m not going to strain myself externally, e.g. “oh my gosh. going to bed is so difficult, i’ve tried so many tactics. they don’t work.” no. none of that. the “tired blah blah phrase makes me tired just thinking of it!”
But in that light:
1. regular sleep schedule
2. daily physical activity
3. do things ahead of time/don’t be late (that sort of thing)
4. be presentable (dress nicely, wear light makeup)
5. remember more (make things worth remembering, forget fewer things)
(the reason is because a lot of the lack of peace of mind is from relational things and being presentable/complaining less/being more at ease shows makes my relational life to others easier, and thereby my own life better)