It’s a month into the new year and I’ve already forgotten what my NY Resolutions are, never mind being diligent with them. After speaking with some roommates and then having lunch with friends, I’m reminded once more of goals and achieving them. Funny to think what triggers different thoughts and epiphanies. Things I’ve come to terms with:
1) I’m too much of a pushover.
2) I need to focus on my goals. & I need some time to refocus.
3) Remember more. Be more brain active.
4) I don’t need to lose my cool or need to be the center of attention in order for things to work out. When you meet people for the first time, people do get shy. I shan’t be so clingy! Friends fit into different tiers and separate categories– there are the ones you disclose certain things and others that you engage in idle banter.
5) Slow stews are (almost) always better than microwaved foods.
6) Do not give pearls to pigs because they will just trample on them.
In reference to 1 and 2, today is that refocusing day. I want to catch up in my school reading and to finish the book that I wanted to borrowed 3X. (I really want to finish it). With regards to 2, I decided to attend the current institution because of interest in behavioral econ. stuff, and also because I thought I would do relatively well.
Half a year has passed and those two statements have not been fulfilled. I am not at the top of my class, nor have I made much headway in my research interests. So, tonight will be that refocusing hour and I just need to get some of my reading, and my head back in to the place it needs to be. Other people are sources and important, but ultimately, I need to be responsible for my actions and I can only be so anxious, envious, and (___)-ious by focusing on the present and the trusting the Lord.
It’s funny the way life is, it’s hard to a) know what you really want and b) know how to get what you want. These statements are ever more true with creating NY Resolutions and executing them. The other day, I read something somewhere that people like superheroes because deep down, we know that we can be like them. Likewise, with envy and anger and being upset, the reason we are probably sometimes envious of others because we think we could do the same thing. As for true “magical types” (or those that appear magical), we just go wow, and don’t say much more because we don’t think we could possibly be like them. (NB: What distinguishes between something that makes us envy them vs. something that just purely ‘wows us’?)
This article has been a dumping ground for my realizations. I believe sprezzatura was one of my original NY resolutions…and I think I’ll keep it: 1) smile more, 2) ask questions in a non-probing way, and 3) give to others kind words and fewer things
tra(iv)els 