I have this penchant for doing things for often the wrong motivations. For example, one of the reasons I started reading Lewis Screwtape a year ago and decided to recommit to Him in a serious way was because of the a crush– for someone who was a committed one. Obviously, it never was meant to be, but my life overall has drastically improved because of it– that is with Him in my life, my life has been more joyful than previously known. Was it the right thing to do? Yes. But was it for the wrong motivations. Yes and kind of. Kind of because it was more of an infatuation. Was it correct thing to do? I don’t think so.
I wrestle with this topic a lot, but I think inaction is the worst. Only by doing things, does one’s character emerge and only then can you take actions to modify it.
I think the conclusion I’ve arrived at is the fact that whatever I do, I better do it with a lot of focus.