I noticed that when I am deeply involved in working on something (e.g. most recently a verbal passage),
I end up having great epiphanies about life and human behavior (which is my favorite part).
I also realized that before I tended to deify some Ch-ans because I thought they were followers of C-t.
I still respect them, but I think it’s inappropriate to do that because they aren’t any more human than I am.
It only makes it easier to treat them as people. I guess sometimes I just feel used or lead around like a horse
rather than a respected friend. I’m not sure where the origin of these feelings, but I sense it is also a
detection of inadequacy or confusion about myself.
I think if anything, I need to seek advice from people who are most appropriate for that field. (e.g. ask an expert
equestrian for information about horses, ask a Chinese chef about Chinese culinary cuisine).