note to self (on jealousy and why it’s stupid)

During a conversation with my parents over a discussion about a particular someone. I asked, “does that person know or ever consider that their behavior is making them miserable? Or doesn’t make them happy?”

“no, if they did, they probably wouldn’t be doing it.”

“probably. Oh, and why are they particularly jealous of xyz in the sense that xyz is better than them. There are a like a billion people out there.”

And that got me thinking, if I’m ever angry, upset, or want to glorify someone, put someone on a pedestal, I should probably stop. and think. There is probably someone who did something even better and more efficient and is generally more awesome. It’s like eating a pocket apple pie from mcDonald’s and saying, “wow, this is what I want to emulate”

It’s honestly ridiculous. But I don’t think I’d be able to grasp the concept if I illustrated it alternatively.

In other words, when someone is like, “Damn, they are awesome. I’m jealous” or something of that derivative. It’s stupid because, honestly, sure maybe it’s good that it temporarily irks you ONLY in the sense that it makes you want to be better (not in a comparative sense in ‘no, i’ve one upped them’.” it’s more like a ok, here’s a standard that someone else has done. can i achieve that? Or better yet, am i in the direction of reaching that (as some kind of benchmark), not as in ‘wow, now i’ve reached it and i’m done.”

Haruki Marukami said it best when (to loosely paraphrase his expressions), that when he ran or did anything, he set internal goals because what if one day, ‘poof’ those standards disappeared and they no longer existed. would your motivation to do such things also evaporate? hard to say, but honestly, that’s the mentality to adapt that’ll help you grow.

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About ivtravels

I like questions, dreaming, doing things, and trying new experiences. Ask me.
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