smiles

I’ve removed myself from LinkedIn unless I find a legitimate excuse*. Today that happened. I’m found the profile of a brother of someone I know and they made me so happy– because they were distinguished academically and remain committed to serving the underserved rather than in pursuit of the most lucrative speciality. Ahh, it makes me really happy to know this and really reminds of a friend, I feel special still regards me as a friend. (like, oh my gosh, I’m excited this person is my friend because well this friend is super friendly and confident, and really represents someone I’d like to emulate, and someone who makes me be the person I want to be and do the interesting things I sometimes forget I’m interested in doing).

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new goals

Fall is here. The pumpkin lattes are out, autumn squash is available, and the jackets are out. It’s also the last quarter. This summer has been a great growing experience and I’m ready to list my final resolutions for the year– want to finish off strong, right? 1) finish well: finish things and don’t procrastinate 2) stop/decrease/be conscious of linkedin– as much as I loved/hated Facebook previously, linkedin/googling names has become a seemingly innocuous habit. Yesterday, I got so tired and I’ve noticed my eyes progressively turn for the worse. Today when I was grocery shopping, I realized that our working years/time to shine is really say between 20 and 50/60. Then after that maybe there are still great things to be done, but my steam will run out. So why am I wasting time thinking and looking up people I don’t even care about? Truly, all things considered, my time is short. 3) Do you ever experience so much grace you feel guilty and want to be better person? Since praying in our small group, I have felt this. Not in a guilty — I’m paralyzed, but in a Meliora way, in a it’s ok if everything isn’t together, He is present and cares and everything is going to be OK. Just hold on, work hard, and sit tight type of way. Or really, to just feel so blessed that you know some people and you’re What, I have a person like this who cares for me? When did I deserve this? Yes, that’s the feeling I got today and it’s amazing. It’s GRACE. As a result, I think I’ve started to care about myself — in a, I’m going to start running because I should be taking care of myself, and I’m going to start drinking more water, eating fresh fruit, and being kind to the people around me.

update: 09-28-14. Doing better, but I think I need to be more conscious of googling people. Instead, I think it makes more sense for me to spend more time on the projects that I genuinely get excited thinking, reading, and writing about.

note to self (expectations and the next step isn’t going to cut it)

today has been a real blessing. And I realized that it’s so nice to be surrounded by people of different age groups. Because it’s clear what matters, matters at different stages. and I think it’s really refreshing to be reminded what matters. 

when your kids are small, but not too big: kids are awesome and fun and cute, but they also take away sleep and there and can be stressful things. just because you’re married doesn’t mean your life is resolved. (I thought it would be). Likewise, just because you’re in a relationship it doesn’t mean everything is resolved, it just means…it might be better– and less stressful because then you get a nice problem solver next to you. but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

when your kids are grown and out of the house: you have to find your own hobbies. gardening seems like a good one and being interested and caring for the neighborhood kids. 

and just because you’re married, doesn’t mean it’s always rainbows and sunshine. After a while, maybe you grow apart…and other people might seem exciting and interesting.

So the short and long story, is work hard in your job, but relationships with other people really matter. Clear communication counts too. So work hard and play hard. The shiny things aren’t other things, status, awards, or things that could be “shiny” but the people (unless that person is dressed in aluminum) or painted silver. 

another important thing i think is learning to figure out what is important, and organizing your time so that the important things get taken care of. Because life only gets busier. 

 

Also, tips on prudence:
1) prince of peace: are you at peace?
a. is this biblical?
b. if you have a gut feeling of no, then don’t do it
2) business only with believers: when same level. When above you then doesn’t apply.
3) short term vs. long term: humans see short term but G sees long term. Try to trust Him a little more through prayer and thanksgiving to know that He has your long term interests at heart. Always.

be brave!

Reflecting on this past year and a half, I’ve come to terms with a number of things. Namely, I’m a coward in many respects. Be brave. Work hard. Trust the L. 

note to self (good vs. nice people)

My mom is so smart in her own way. My dad is smart in a way closer to my way. I dissect things, and reverse engineer to understand, my mom understands without the theory. She is so smart with people. 

I realized that all the really really good people that have been good to me vs. nice/funny are those who aren’t always the people who I really want to stay in touch with.

The people who are good who care about you, aren’t always the flashiest or the most attractive socially…but they have things figure out in ways that i wouldn’t have imagined. They are the ones who are the most straightforward, and see my traits and can be the gentlest in the most unique ways. They help me in ways that I wouldn’t have imagined. And in short, I think it’s another lesson about my pride and about “degrees” and “what’s can I show others”. Because I’ve found friends in the unlikeliest of places and I really like them for reasons I wouldn’t have known in the beginning. 

Hey: reminder! Content over the name/prestige/whatever…you have to remember this in ever aspect of your life.

E.K., S.R., S.W. S.K. 

 

note to self (the right amount of challenge and the peace that surpasses all understanding)

i picked up a temporary internship with a group where I enter materials in. It took me a little bit time to learn what to do: but now I’ve already almost reached a plateau point where…I realized that the opposite of stressed is bored. And the older I get, the harder it is to learn and probably the mores stressed I’m going to get. And so I’m off to find the right amount of challenge (other wise, I do a great disservice to the the world and to myself). I think everyone should find their right amount of challenge and also be able to enjoy life 🙂

Also, today I experience of the peace of understanding from Philippians 4. Before and I still quote people saying, “hey, stop being so sad, get out of this state or name whatever emotional state. And I know there is a great validity to that statement. Because your actions do alter your thinking. Concurrently though, that sense of peace (it’s like the most neutral water: and nothing, the storms of life don’t push you in the way that you think you’ll react.) I also had a potentially challenging conversation that went remarkably well (by well; I meant, both parties left the conversation in a relatively positive, but mostly neutral state). I know that I could not have self-willed this, and I know that there is SOMEONE bigger than me who loves me and cares for me, and will lead me to green pastures. Praise Him. 

note to self (on happiness and forgiving)

Today I found out that a high school classmate’s parents both passed away! I CANNOT imagine how things would be. But yet, she is still so joyful. (or at least seems). And so, i think it’s true, sometimes cliche matter and reflect the truth. Life is short. It’s much easier to forgive (not hold a grudge) which doesn’t equal to = they return to the level of best friends as before. Which is an excellent reminder.